She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
