And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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