when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
