guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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