That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Never joke about your clitoris.
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