The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
