we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize