Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
