No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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