Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
