Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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