You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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