just come out here and I will go home with you...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
