he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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