Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
