I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
