White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
