standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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