Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize