You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
