i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Two words: blizzard sex
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
