True but thats because hes a fetus.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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