You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize