u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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