Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The cops high fived after they tackled you
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
