i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
