I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm too high and old for this...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
