Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
