The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
