so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
