apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
