How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
