This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
