just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
