lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
