If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
