I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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