Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
