So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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