She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
