Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
