i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
