I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
