I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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