i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I looked at my own cervix.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
