So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
