Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
