I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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