drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
