i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
