I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
