Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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