I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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