his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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