Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
