Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did we literally take a cab across the street
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
