Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
