He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
