Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize