So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
