i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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