Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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