Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
