so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
