Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
