I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
