he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
