You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
