I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
